Celebrity pre-nups are sometimes more fascinating than the celebrities themselves. Below, we present extracts from the pre-nuptial agreements of several famous rock’n’roll stars, recently published on Wikileaks:
Elvis Presley
Being it said by wise men that only fools rush in, I, Elvis Aaron Presley, do hereby enter into this marriage strictly on the following terms:
- Time to be taken for little things to be said and done;
- The party of the second part to be held during any and all lonely, lonely times;
- Chairs in the parlour not to be permitted to become empty and bare;
- At least one rabbit to be caught by the party of the second part annually;
- One more chance to be granted to keep the party of the second part satisfied, satisfied.
Johnny Cash
This pre-nuptial agreement codifies and formalises the following agreed behaviours:
- A close watch to be kept on party of the first part’s heart (and eyes to be kept wide open all the time);
- The party of the first part undertakes to attempt to turn the tide;
- Subject to ownership of the party of the second part, The Line to be walked.
- The party of the second part (hereinafter “Good Lookin’”) agrees to divulge, upon request, the nature and identity of what has been cookin’.
- In accordance with this, a joint partnership to locate a brand new recipe will be entered into.
- Party of the first part undertakes to provide, without prejudice:
- (1) A hot rod Ford (2) A two-dollar bill
(subject to the location of a spot right over the hill, where soda pop and dancin’ may be procured.)
Paul McCartney
- Singing out of tune not to be admitted as grounds for separation.
- Note: ears are to be loaned, upon request, for purposes of such singing.
- Upon becoming older and notwithstanding the loss of hair, the following items to be exchanged:
- (1) Valentine (2) Birthday greetings (3) Bottle of wine.
- Tasks to be performed by the party of the first part:
- (1) Mend fuses (2) Do garden (3) Dig weeds.
- Additionally, the door shall not be locked before 2:45am.
- Note that these obligations will not be voided at 64 years of age.
Billy Joel
- Every reason to accept that both parties are for real shall be disclosed;
- Pursuant to the above, all crazy dreams to be recounted in full;
- Communication to be provided constantly, as per insurance requirements;
- No pearls will be gifted by the party of the first part (hereinafter “Back Street Guy”) due to present fiscal circumstances;
- The party of the second party (hereinafter “Uptown Girl”) agrees to an immediate cessation of living in her white bread world.